Have you ever been a vehicle that was smooth driving and all of a sudden the break pads just applied forcefully (Vaginismus)? That can be a moment of anxiety for the driver, the passengers and any other person within close proximity to the vehicle! Recently, we received an inbox complaint from a wife who has reoccurring painful s£xual intercourse with her husband on Newly Married Couples and that led to an interest in the various reasons why some women get to feel sudden tightening during virginal penetration.

We’d not go into the detail of the complaint we received due to confidential reasons, however, this first part article will dwell on a condition that is not fully understood by lots of women and their spouses, and that has the potential of frustrating the s£x life of couples, and can possibly end relationships. That condition is known as Vaginismus! It can create anxiety in relationships, just like when when a vehicle is suddenly halted by forcefully applied break, or one that doesn't allow the wheels to even move.

Painful  intercourse

According to a material obtained from UK’s National Health Services (NHS), Vaginismus is when the vagina suddenly tightens up just as you try to insert something into it. It can be painful and distressing but it can be treated.

What is vaginismus?

Vaginismus is the body's automatic reaction to the fear of some or all types of vaginal penetration.

This explains why s£xual rapes can be distressing and devastating for victims. In cases where husbands or boyfriends have to forcefully have s£x with their wives or girlfriends, as the case might be, this can leave a literal scare besides emotional.

Occasionally, vaginismus can occur even if you've previously enjoyed painless penetrative s£x.

Vaginismus doesn't necessarily affect ability to get aroused and enjoy other types of s£xual contact. In fact, a woman might have this tightening with her husband upon being emotionally disconnected from him, despite previously enjoying s£xual penetration with him previously.

Causes of Vaginismus

Often there's no obvious explanation but some things thought to cause vaginismus include:

  • fear that your vagina is too small
  • a bad first s£xual experience
  • an unpleasant medical examination
  • a belief that s£x is shameful or wrong
  • a painful medical condition, like thrush


There are various approaches to treating this condition, even on your own.

Psychos£xual therapy: a type of talking therapy that aims to help you understand and change your feelings about your body and s£x

Relaxation techniques: mindfulness, breathing and gentle touching exercises to help you learn to relax the vaginal muscles

Pelvic floor exercises: squeezing and releasing exercises to gain control of the vaginal muscles

Pelvic Floor Exercise
Pelvic Floor Exercise

Sensate focus: exercises to help with your relaxation during s£x and increase your s£x drive (libido)       

Sensate focus
Sensate focus 


Vaginal trainers: smooth tampon-shaped objects in different sizes to help you gradually get used to having something inserted into your vagina

Vaginal Dilators for Vaginismus
Vaginal Dilators for Vaginismus

However, it’s a good idea to visit a s£xual health clinic or a General practitioner if the following, but not limited to these, is the case:

  • you find it hard inserting a tampon into your vagina
  • you struggle with vaginal penetration during s£x
  • you feel burning or stinging pain during s£x

Follow zeeny360 for a followup article. Contact Newly Married Couples for heart to heart, confidential interaction on any relationship concerns.

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