Few things can be as embarrassing and terrifying as not being able to disengage from a position while in a N∆de state; and yet seeking help from elsewhere to rescue you. A typical instance will be if you ever get stuck during s£x with your partner and have to rely on others to disengage you. Trust me, it will be tabloid news especially if this partner is someone else’s married spouse – in that case I won’t pity you, not even a bit.
The condition I’d treat is known as Penis captivus. It is a rare occurrence when the muscle in the vagina clamp down on the penis much more firmly, leaving the man unable to disengage.
Accounts of people who have been stuck, especially in Africa, involve a concept known as ‘fencing,’ a situation where via voodoo or juju, as explained and reported by some, a married woman is conditioned by her husband to be stuck with another man if she ever gets involved in illicit s£x. Interestingly, I have heard that this practice also exist in Nigeria, Zimbabwe & others, which doesn’t have an orthodox and conventional explanation to someone like me who doesn’t practice voodoo or juju.
However, I will be addressing Penis captivus, which has medical explanations and can occur between married couples.
A report by nineteenth-century German gynecologist – Scanzoni, states that his patient, “a completely healthy young woman, married for six months," had to abstain from s£xual intercourse with her husband because her intense vaginal contractions were "most painful to him and ... did on several occasions end in a spasm ... which sometimes lasted more than ten minutes and made it impossible for the couple to separate."
Another report, from another German gynecologist – Hildebrandt, explained of a husband: He reported that just at the moment when he thought intercourse, which had been quite normal till then, had come to an end, he suddenly felt that he, or rather his glans, was held back deep in the vagina, tightly gripped and imprisoned, while his whole penis was in the vagina. All attempts at withdrawal failed. When he forced the attempts, he caused severe pain to himself and his wife.
We will not readily forget the Italian couple who reportedly started having s£x in the Mediterranean Sea and finished in the ER, because their genitals wouldn’t disunite.
While largely hearsay, and chalked up mostly as mythical, an article published in a 1979 issue of the British Medical Journal claims that penis captivus has occurred very rarely to humans throughout history. Apparently, a handful of couples have gotten locked inseparably during s£xual intercourse. This is actually pretty common with dogs.
- Dogs stuck during s£x
Some of us have actually seen dogs get stuck for minutes during s£x, to the point that they scream; this is neither voodoo nor juju. This explanation is purely biological.
What can be done to disengage if you ever get stuck during s£x, without giving us something to write about in the media?
In the case of the husband in Hildebrandt’s report, bathed in perspiration through agitation, alarm and his failure to free himself, he was finally forced to resign himself to waiting in patience. He could not say how many minutes this lasted, his imprisonment seemed endless. Then — the hindrance vanished on its own; he was free.
The key at that point is: both of you have to take your minds off s£x! Put your minds elsewhere like how to pay your kids’ school fees, how to face your landlord when the next rent is due – anything less exciting just to take you minds off s£x.
According to Dr. Yvonne Fulbright — formerly Astroglide’s go-to sexologist, “Should you ever find this actually happening, then both you and your lover need to relax and take the focus off of intercourse and anything sexy. This allows blood to leave the penis, so that he can withdraw more easily. And her pelvic floor muscles will also relax, as not to clench the shaft.”
But what if you ever become a victim of ‘fencing,’ for getting involved in s£xual intercourse with someone else’s wife or husband? Remember what I said earlier, – in that case I won’t pity you, not even a bit. Just reach out for your phone, take a photo shoot of you both and mail the pix back to me. I can assure you that you’d be an instant hit.
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